It all began when I noticed Mom take the toilet paper off the holder and put it on top of the cabinet. No big deal, she does this all the time because apparently I'm not supposed to eat it. Strangely, I then notice her slip another roll onto the aforementioned holder. Ever the curious cat, I hop up on the toilet for a closer examination. The paper was thin and rough, nothing at all like the plushy Quilted Northern I have become accustomed too. It certainly wasn't anything I wanted to eat. Having satisfied my curiosity, I jumped back down and sidled past Mom out the bathroom.
It was then I heard her yell, "He doesn't like it! He'll only eat the good stuff!" Excuse me??? This was all some elaborate experiment to test my preference for toilet paper. I was dumbfounded. I'm sure she never got IRB approval for this. I demand justice!
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