The Auggie Chronicles

RIP Toby

2011-09-15T10:20:00.000-07:00

Here's to my cousin Toby. We only met briefly, and I wasn't very nice, but you will be missed...

Speak Softly and Carry a Big Tail

2011-07-08T09:08:00.001-07:00

Readers of my blog know that I am the king of the castle, count of the condo, duke of the domicile. Sometimes you need to remind your subjects of your status. I never like to resort to shouting and scratching unless absolutely necessary. I follow in the hallowed footsteps of Theodore Roosevelt and let my stature speak for itself. In this video, I make use of my tail to handle some diplomatic negotiations.

P.S. Mom happened to be watching The Wire while this was filming, so pardon the expletive that may be audible partway into the video. By the way, have you seen The Wire? Fantastic...

"I think that I shall never see..."

2011-05-16T17:47:00.000-07:00

Just living is not enough... one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.

--Hans Christian Anderson

I have made no secret of the fact I love to lay inside a window and watch the wilds of nature work its magic. Napping in a sun puddle, watching those creatures called birds flit about and soaking up the strange odors are all in a days work for me.

So it should come as no surprise that while Mom sat on the deck, I parked myself on the floor next to the screen door. Perhaps the sunshine made her lightheaded and giddy, but for some reason she decided to bring me outside. Now in the past I have resisted this to the utmost of my ability. My fear of the "great outdoors" caused my claws to extend and my flight response to say feets don't fail me now!

However, my yoga and meditation have taught me to be more at ease within my own fur. I let Mom carry me outside and it was sensory overload. The smells, the sights, the sounds. The feel of sun unobstructed by a pane of glass! It only lasted but a mere couple minutes but filled my soul for days.

Will I return? I certainly hope so. Will I escape next time the door opens? Only time will tell.

Cat and Cow

2011-05-02T20:00:00.001-07:00

Mom is going to get Dad to try yoga. Cannot. Wait. For. This.

I'm back!!!!!!!!!!

2011-01-13T20:37:00.000-08:00

Hello dear readers! A thousand pardons for my extended absence but you know how life is. They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said no, no, no. After a few yoga retreats and awakening my chakras I am back and better than ever. Want proof? Here's my first video of the year shot by Mom on her new Flipcam.

Someone Call PETA!!

2010-09-07T11:03:00.000-07:00

I have been the unwitting participant in a science experiment. Every time I think about it my fur stands up on end.

It all began when I noticed Mom take the toilet paper off the holder and put it on top of the cabinet. No big deal, she does this all the time because apparently I'm not supposed to eat it. Strangely, I then notice her slip another roll onto the aforementioned holder. Ever the curious cat, I hop up on the toilet for a closer examination. The paper was thin and rough, nothing at all like the plushy Quilted Northern I have become accustomed too. It certainly wasn't anything I wanted to eat. Having satisfied my curiosity, I jumped back down and sidled past Mom out the bathroom.

It was then I heard her yell, "He doesn't like it! He'll only eat the good stuff!" Excuse me??? This was all some elaborate experiment to test my preference for toilet paper. I was dumbfounded. I'm sure she never got IRB approval for this. I demand justice!

Craigslist Says What????

2010-08-23T11:41:00.000-07:00

I heard through the grapevine, (okay from Mom), that a friend of theirs had recently gotten fed up with animals under his care and supervision. His solution: put them up for sale on Craigslist. Oh horror of horrors! I went to this "Craigslist" and found that most anything can be bought and sold with the click of a mouse. There were lots of gentlemen looking for a "furry buddy" to stroke and curl up with. I can only imagine they are in need of a pet. I do not want to be that pet.

Now, I highly doubt Mom and Dad would ever do this to me, despite all the havoc I cause. I also learned the friend came to his senses and took the posts down. He even went so far as to obtain another animal to add to the menagerie! However, I also learned this friend has a wife who is pregnant. What have I been saying about babies pushing the animals out of the house!? It looks like it could be happening again. I will be keeping an eye on Mom. As long as she keeps popping open those beer bottles, I think I'm in the clear.

I Can Be Cuddly, Sort of

2010-08-04T10:13:00.000-07:00

Oops, I did it again...

2010-08-04T10:02:00.001-07:00

So dear readers, I'm sure you remember this little incident. Well, it seems it happened again. I was trying to be nonchalant about it. I went in the litter box to do my business and realized something was poking out. I could not relieve myself of the problem. So I exited said litter box and began to, umm, go to work with my teeth to get it out. Eyes Like A Hawk (aka Mom) noticed the ferocity with which I was working and proceeded to pick me up and ask Dad to inspect me. And there it was, hanging out an inch for all to see, the silent witness of my indiscretion, the Q-TIP.

Gasps sounded from both of them. Then Dad pulled it out and relieved me of my burden. They immediately began to argue about who had thrown the Q-Tip into the garbage that I like to rummage through. I know the truth, but I'll never tell...

THE VET

2010-07-18T17:34:00.000-07:00

My worst fears came true. I knew something was going on when I saw that carrier enter the house. Sure enough, Mom came home early from work the other day and set the dreaded cage in the middle of the living room. She tossed my favorite little yellow bear in and called my name. As if I was going to fall for that one. I knew what she was up to. Thus began an exciting game of cat and mouse (I being the mouse). Mom tried her darndest to push me through the little door in the carrier after she got a hold of me, but I wasn't going to give in without a fight. I growled and yelled and scratched and bit. I did succeed in putting a nice hole in her shirt. She then lifted the top off that prison and pushed me in, shoving the top down on me before I could fight back. I tried pushing on it with my legs. but it was to no avail. The clamping down on the snaps rang in my ears and I knew I was headed to the VET.

I panted the whole way over in the car and my nerves resulted in an embarrasing bit of drooling which Mom preserved in the above picture. Not my finest moment....

I let the VET do what he had to do and didn't even bite him. I saved it for Mom once we were back home. I got stuck twice with a needle but thankfully the whole ordeal only lasted five minutes. To be honest, I was glad to get back inside that prison and go home.

Mom let me out and thought she could make up for the awfulness by petting me. I bit her and ran upstairs and hid under the bed for the next few hours.

Until next year!

Something is Afoot

2010-06-28T19:22:00.001-07:00

Aunt Emily stopped by Sunday and brought THIS with her. It's been over a year since I have seen THIS but I know what it means. I know Mom is planning to take me somewhere. I took out my anger on the metal bars of the door that so cruelly locks you in (ok, so I would have chewed it even if I wasn't mad).

I'll be sleeping with one eye open dear readers!

I've Never.....

2010-06-18T10:32:00.000-07:00

I've never chased a rabbit or felt the raindrops fall

I've never climbed a tree or chased a mouse so small

I've never battled alley cats or drank from a puddle blue

I've never had the pleasure of finding grass to chew

I'm an indoor cat, restricted within these walls

I wander the carpet jungle, chasing jingly balls

The ledge is my window on the world

Upon this throne I lay with my tail curled

I tackle Donkey on the stairs

and stalk my parents with no cares

And while I often wish to catch those birds that fly

For me my kingdom will remain a condo two stories high

An Addendum

2010-06-09T10:32:00.001-07:00

Previously, I wrote a post detailing what I found as I went blog surfing. I happened to mention there were no other feline authors out there in blog world. I must admit I did find a blog written by a cat named "Kiddo". However, what I found on his blog left me feeling a bit disturbed. He has not updated since October 31, 2009 and in his last post he mentions how his owner is pregnant with a human baby. After that? NOTHING!!!!!!!!! Was he forced from his humble abode once the new human arrived? Is he now roaming the streets or will he soon be spotted in one of those houses featured on Hoarders? I shudder to think about Mom conceiving one of those babies. I was here first. I refuse to move for anyone. Know your role!

Watch me in Action

2010-06-08T10:35:00.000-07:00

Mom took some grainy video footage of me causing trouble. Enjoy...(And yes, that is a superhero cup Dad is drinking out of.)

So Many Blogs

2010-06-01T10:36:00.000-07:00

Whilst sitting here at the computer, I decided to peruse other blogs using the "next blog" feature offered by blogspot.com. What I discovered is listed below:

There are no other blogs authored by an animal: And I mean none. That's right folks, only I can give you insight into the feline psyche, or any mammal psyche that is
Women love to blog about their families: I lost count of how many moms wrote about every coming and going of their children as if anyone but them and grandma would be interested. Though some did have more followers than me. WHY IS THAT?
No follow through: It seems many a lonely person has decided to start up their own blog to share their "thoughts, feelings and views on the depressing world we live in", only to write two posts and never visit again. Slackers....
"Artists" love to blog: It seems everyone who labels themselves an artist has decided to share their art with the world via blog. Watercolor sidewalks? Put it in a blog! Papier-mache chairs for little people? Put it in a blog!

So what have we learned? That my blog is unique, updated frequently and will more than likely not feature any of my artwork. So why aren't you following yet????

Precious...

2010-05-23T19:54:00.001-07:00

This is the cutest thing I have seen in a long time, and it takes a lot to melt my little heart.

Meet the sloths from Amphibian Avenger on Vimeo.

My Condolences to my Cousin...

2010-05-17T10:30:00.000-07:00

Dear Benjamin,

I hear they did to you what they did to me--took you to the vet and took away your claws and manhood. I feel your pain, literally.

When I had my "procedure", I was left with a large incision on my stomach due to something being "undescended". The doctor figured a little skin glue was all it needed. He was not familiar with my tenacity. Not long after Mom brought me home I had bitten off nearly all the glue, thus exposing my poor wound.

You should have seen Mom and Aunt Emily, chasing me around and calling emergency vets in a panic. All they could do was watch me until the morning and then bring me back to that doctor for real stitches. So what was their solution to my biting problem. Well, first they tried to wrap my mid section in an ACE bandage, yeah, that lasted all of a minute. Then one of them got the bright idea to cut off part of the leg on an old pair of sweat pants. They then tried to fit it over me. I may still have been woozy from the anesthesia but you should have seen the fight I put up. All the while Dad is laughing his butt off.

So what did they end up doing? Mom and Aunt Emily slept in shifts and followed me around all night to keep me from biting at my wound.

I think they deserved at least that much after what I had just gone through.

Let's hope I never need another surgery!

Causing Trouble

2010-05-12T10:37:00.000-07:00

I desperately wanted to write on my blog last night dear readers, but alas, both household computers were taken up by my parents. In order to show my displeasure, I began chewing on all the cables behind Dad's monitor. He yelled and swatted at me but did not leave and Mom just used her laptop to take a picture of me in the act. Do I look pleased to you? I will have to try something new next time.

Locked in the Bathroom...Again

2010-05-06T17:29:00.000-07:00

Mom locked me in the bathroom...again. Yes, she does tend to be absent minded (it's the High IQ I think). But 2 times in a week?

Not to worry though. I passed the time by unrolling the toilet paper and proceeding to leave bite marks down the entire length.

Dad discovered my handy work and was sure to admonish Mom (via text message) of her lack of attention to detail, aka ME!

Anniversary

2010-04-28T17:51:00.000-07:00

It's my one year blog-aversary. I realize I have been MIA this month due to factors beyond my control, but I will be back and bigger than ever in May. (Not in terms of weight, I'm one lean mofo).

Thanks for reading!

Love,

Auggie

Wax On, Wax Off

2010-03-29T19:04:00.000-07:00

Dad has a new nickname for me...Mr. Miauggie. It's apparently a reference to the Karate Kid but I still don't get why he starts singing "You're the best-around!" whenever he calls me that.

Birthday Reminder!

2010-03-12T10:16:00.001-08:00

No, not Mom's, though she does turn 30 (gasp) in less than 2 weeks.

IT'S MY SECOND BIRTHDAY! Presents are always appreciated and for those of you undecided gift givers, check out my post on preferred Christmas gifts.

Technology Guru

2010-03-10T18:41:00.000-08:00

I used the printer today. Apparently, if you walk on it, it will begin to spit out paper for no apparent reason....much to my Mother's chagrin. What's the problem? The paper came out blank, she can use it again.

I Miss My Q-Tips

2010-03-01T19:07:00.001-08:00

Me and my q-tip, pre litter box incident...Sigh

I Hate Hats

2010-03-01T18:33:00.000-08:00

I hate hats. I'm not sure why. Perhaps I was traumatized by a hat as a little kitten and have repressed the memory. But I do know when someone walks in with a hat on, it makes my fur stand on end. My tail goes up and I look like a bushy raccoon ready for winter. Last night Dad's friend Brian came in with a hat on. Now he may be a nice guy, but I'm not going anywhere near him with that hat on.

Ugg, I shudder just recalling the memory. Nothing a little cat nip and a nap can't cure...

Laying Claim to the Prey...

2010-02-15T13:20:00.001-08:00

E=MCAuggie

2010-02-12T10:32:00.001-08:00

I think I'm the unwitting victim of a science experiment. You are all aware of my love of bottle caps. As are my parents. Well, I came downstairs the other evening to find a bowl on the floor chock full of bottle caps. Thinking it must be a mirage, I high tailed it over and began batting about inside the bowl. IT WAS NO MIRAGE! I spent the rest of the evening removing caps one by one and swatting them about the room until there were none left (that being, I had hit them all under the couch).

The next morning mom came down and I heard her say, "It worked! He took every single one!" Excuse me? Was she referring to me? I am not some lab rat that will perform for a piece of cheese. Oh no, this will not do.

Mom decided to fill the bowl back up and see what I would do next. Well don't you know, when she got home from work, the bowl was just as she had left it. Yeah, let them figure that one out. Then, just to make things more interesting, once she had emptied the bowl, I went ahead and dropped some caps in there while they slept.

Yeah, they can't make heads or tails of me now. Suckers....

Oh Happy Day

2010-01-28T10:16:00.000-08:00

I don't believe I've ever really detailed my love for beer bottle caps. They are far and away my most favorite item to chase, bat around, dump in the middle of Mom and Dad's bed, etc. I have amassed a large collection, most of it contained under the couch and fridge. When I hear the fridge open followed by the drawer, I come running. Oh, I quiver with anticipation as the cap is snapped off and thrown for me to retrieve.

Nothing beats bottle cap fishing though. Once I have lost enough under the couch, Mom or Dad will pull out the magnetic pole and drag them back out. It's Christmas Day!

Yesterday Dad came back from a guys night and I heard that familiar jingle coming from his pocket. I was intrigued because Dad is not a beer connoisseur so I didn't think he would have a stash of caps. OH BUT HE DID! Unfortunately for me, I only got two and the rest were squired away for later. Don't worry, I'll get them one way or another...

Some People Never Learn

2010-01-15T11:05:00.000-08:00

If Mom insists on trimming my nails (AGAIN), then I must insist on jumping on her shoulders and "accidentally" slipping whilst dragging what is left of them down her back. Enjoy the scars.

The Baby of the Family

2010-01-09T18:50:00.000-08:00

It seems I am no longer the youngest one on the block. Aunt Emily adopted Benjamin and I would like to take this opportunity to welcome him to the family and give him some advice.

1) Don't come visit. Your brother Toby thought he could, just ask him how that worked out.

2) Bite as much as you can (anything and everything). It establishes your dominance early.

3) If you don't want it taken away, don't eat stuff that Mom can discover in your poop. (See previous post)

BUSTED!

2010-01-07T11:12:00.000-08:00

I knew this day would come eventually. As those of you who read my Christmas list know, I am an avid fan of q-tips. The hard plastic capped off by cotton, it's a dream come true to chew on. Well, I think I have chewed my last q-tip....

Mom was sifting through the litter box. By the way, Mom has to clean up my waste and I'm the pet? Whatever... Oops, got distracted there. So, Mom was sifting through the poo while I was on one of my supervised visits to the basement. I was engaging in one of my favorite games: stand on the top shelf and chew the water tubing while Dad yells and tries in vain to reach me, when I heard Mom coming down the stairs. I thought nothing of it, figured she was transferring the laundry. Then I noticed the scooper in her hand and the look on her face.

"Look at what I found in the litter box," she exclaimed to Dad. Oh no, it was as plain as day even from my perch. It was a poop encrusted q-tip. "Noooooo way!" said Dad. "Oh yes," said Mom. "It's still intact!" Their eyes then turned to me and all I could do was look from one to the other. "Your q-tip days are through," Mom pronounced before tromping back up the stairs to send cell phone pictures of my little surprise.

Did I mean to eat the q-tip? No. I was chewing to my heart's content and then next thing I knew, I had swallowed it. I felt funny the whole rest of the day and you cannot imagine the relief when it finally came back out. But now I will never know the pleasure of one again. Sigh...............

Sew How's it Going?

2010-01-03T17:34:00.000-08:00

I found a new way to annoy Mom today. She decided to be homemaker-like and sew up some of the holes I have put in their bed sheets low these many months because, in her words- "These sheets were expensive and we ARE NOT throwing them away just because Auggie chewed a couple holes in them!" I decided to make her regret this decision.

Do you know how much fun it is to try and run away with string in your mouth while Mom is trying to thread it through a needle? I do. It makes her yell too, ALOT. I ran out of the room after a few minutes of this, just to make her think the coast was clear. I waited until she was engaged in the act of sewing before I pounced again. Unfortunately, this caused her to accidentally poke me with the needle. It was a small price to pay for the amount of mischief I caused. I managed to eat some of the bits of string she cut off too. All in all, a good day.

Christmas Hangover

2009-12-27T09:09:00.000-08:00

Gotta love the aftermath of Christmas. Mom left all her new clothes on the chaise in the extra bedroom and it was a SMORGASBORD of plastic from price tags for me to feast on. She was not happy about me chewing them up. I don't see what the problem was, I was removing them for her! She thought she could outsmart me by turning the clothes over, thus "hiding" the tags. My superior skills took care of that little problem. Gotta make more mischief now...

My Christmas List

2009-12-22T10:28:00.001-08:00

Still trying to figure out what to get me? Here's a helpful (and inexpensive list) of some of my favorite things:

1. Beer bottle caps--You get the beer, I get the cap, perfect!!

2. Q-tips--Used or unused, either way they are great for chewing

3. Plastic from price tags--They must all be cut off the clothes you bought as presents anyway. Why not send them my way?

4. Wires--Preferably from a charger for a Mac computer, but cable and internet wires work as well.

5. Metal hardware--Nothing sharpens my teeth quite like a good cabinet knob.

Happy Birthday Dad!

2009-12-17T16:44:00.001-08:00

Happy 30th Dad!

Golden Balls

2009-12-11T09:17:00.000-08:00

Day 7 without mom and dad. I am here terrorizing Uncle Graham while they watch Golden Balls, eat fish and chips, look at old castles and pretend to understand what everyone is saying. I hope they don't bring home a British cat... especially one that belonged to a pikey...

Two Enter...Only One Shall Survive...

2009-12-04T10:32:00.000-08:00

The suitcases have been unearthed from the basement and I know what that means. T-minus twenty-four hours until Uncle Graham enters Thunderdome. I know his weaknesses and have my battle plan all set. Let's see if he lasts the ten days...

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-27T08:54:00.000-08:00

You can get anything you want, at Auggie's restaurant...

Sad News

2009-11-20T09:51:00.000-08:00

R.I.P. Ginger...you will be missed...

I'll ALWAYS Find a Way

2009-11-15T17:26:00.000-08:00

So my dear readers know about my furnace tube chewing and subsequent banishment from the basement. Since then, I have been allowed "supervised" visits down to the basement whenever Dad goes down to work.

Dad swats at me whenever I go near the furnace so I knew there was no way I could chew the water tubes coming out of the furnace again.

What to do? What to do? Ever the problem solver, I stared at the tube and realized it climbed, up, up , up until it attached to the rafter and continued across the room.

JACKPOT! I deftly leapt up the shelving and from my perch on the top shelf I can easily access the tube of water for at least six feet!

I began to chew to my hearts content and Dad was none the wiser.

That is, until today. He reached up to get a box off the top shelf and noticed water on the top. OH NO! I thought to myself. THE JIG IS UP!

Sure enough, he put two and two together and I am now my supervised visits to the basement may now cease.

At least I got to watch Dad struggle to repair the tube from the top of the ladder....

Twizzlers...

2009-10-24T20:17:00.000-07:00

ain't nothing wrong with that...

When it all gets to be too much....

2009-10-20T18:21:00.000-07:00

just put a paw over your eye and call it a day...

Well That Didn't Go As Planned....

2009-10-18T19:12:00.000-07:00

I may have shot myself in the paw with this one... in my excitement over posting to this here blog, I tend to chew the power cord on Mom's computer. Apparently, I chewed right through rendering it inoperable...I know this because Mom complained about it...A LOT! And then Dad was scolding her for leaving it out because "you know that's what he does". I'm assuming he was referring to me. It was no skin off my back, I can always use Dad's computer. Thankfully for Mom, Dad was able to solder the cord and shrinkwrap it back together. Unfortunately for me, Mom actually listened to Dad and won't leave her cable out anymore...

An Open Letter to the Baby Next Door

2009-10-08T16:41:00.000-07:00

I realize you are small and though I have never dealt directly with your kind, I have heard things. That being said, I still must call you out on some behavior that is negatively affecting me.

Picture it, I am downstairs, batting beer caps under the couch when suddenly, I hear it. The jingle of a bell, all too familiar. Is it Mom with one of my fuzzy balls? Or could it be Dad with my yellow bear? I must investigate. I run up the stairs, chasing the tantalizing sound. My ears lead me to the extra bedroom. I examine Mom with a critical eye but realize all she is doing is reading. Then where is that sound coming from. I hear it again, this time near the window. I hop up, sniffing furiously and finally look up to see.... your small head staring out the window as you shove a drool covered "rattle" into your mouth.

All I can do is sit and stare while you continue to make that sound that makes my muscles tense and ready for action. It is evil. I realize we live feet apart, but if you will not cease and desist I must insist you close your window good sir. If you refuse to comply, I will find a way out of the screen...oh, I will.

They Say You Can't Choose Your Family....

2009-09-14T18:48:00.000-07:00

In case you didn't know, my domicile is not that big, especially since I was banned from the basement and both bathrooms. So when you try and make me share my territory with someone else, including my cousin Toby, it just ain't gonna fly. I had to follow him from room to room as he wandered through my turf. I made sure to hiss and growl as much as possible to get my point across. I even turned my anger on mom, dad and Auntie Emily. And you know what the worst part was??? He slept in MY spot under the bed for the afternoon. I got him back though, I ate his food while he was stealing my space. Thankfully, he was deposited back home after twenty-four hours. Let that be a lesson to you all--I am the king of the castle.

Ruining Our Reputation

2009-09-04T21:09:00.000-07:00

And they think I'm weird

They Call Them "Crazy Eyes"

2009-09-01T10:31:00.001-07:00

Bring It On!

2009-08-30T16:51:00.001-07:00

Uncle Graham survived a car crash only to try and take me on!

So Glad I'm NOT a Dog...

2009-08-28T19:32:00.000-07:00

because you know Mom would probably buy THIS !

It's Not For Me

2009-08-28T17:20:00.001-07:00

New Fancy Feast Appetizers? No thank you....

Funny Funny

2009-08-24T19:45:00.000-07:00

Gotta get one for Dad...

Thanks to Cousin Sue for sending this along!

Hair Hair Hair

2009-08-19T19:24:00.000-07:00

Among my many obsessions (q-tips, stealing jewelry, biting the blinds, etc.), I've begun to lick Mom's hair. She can't seem to fathom why. I'm just trying to help bathe her. Sometimes she needs it... My actions intrigue her so much she decided to video it. It freaked me out! There was a cat onthe computer that looked just like me! Check it out.

A Warm Homecoming

2009-08-18T17:24:00.000-07:00

Mom came back from Arizona yesterday and I gave her my own personal welcome back. I began by licking and biting her hair while she tried to take a nap. She didn't really notice the licking but starting yelling when I started pulling out individual strands with my teeth. I then began to leap out and bite her every time she left and/or entered a room. The coup de gras was pouncing on her head while she slept. Welcome home Mom!

Well Wishes for Toby!

2009-08-13T11:13:00.000-07:00

My cousin has taken ill and is now holed up at that place they call "the vet". We're thinking of you big guy!

UPDATE: Toby is now convalescing at home. Here's hoping Ginger doesn't give him too much grief.

Cats Dominate

2009-08-12T16:14:00.000-07:00

Have you read this? I know cats rock and all, but I'm feeling a bit discouraged. So the cat plays the piano? Have you seen my YouTube videos? How come I'm not getting as much play? And don't get me started on that Twitter cat. "Pad, Pad, Pad"? Compare that to my blog. Yeah, thought so....

A Tale of Two Litter Boxes

2009-07-27T11:23:00.001-07:00

Ever since I was banished from the basement, my litter box has been relocated to a corner of the kitchen. Now I could care less where I do my business, but this move has not been easy on Mom. She is constantly complaining about litter on the floor and zooming around the kitchen with that scary Swivel Sweeper. She should try pawing through litter and see if some doesn't follow her when she jumps out of the box. Well, true to form, Mom tried to come up with a solution. She went out and bought me the fancy Booda Dome. I overheard her telling Dad it would solve all the litter problems because it has a hidden staircase to navigate that will release the litter from my paws before I leave the box. Well me, being true to form, realized it's much easier to jump over the divider than go down the stairs. So now Mom is back to complaining about the litter yet again.

Keep it on the QT

2009-07-21T17:23:00.000-07:00

I have a confession...I've got an obsession with Q-Tips. It's becoming a real problem. Mom and Dad won't throw them in the bathroom garbage anymore because I dive in after them. Then I chew them to my heart's content and leave them on their pillows. I don't see what the problem is, but they do. I've taken to attacking Dad while he uses them after his shower. So all you out there in blog land, send me some Q-tips! Maybe Turkey the therapist can help me...

Evil Auntie Emily

2009-07-09T18:52:00.000-07:00

Aunt Emily came over again last night. It usually means something I am not going to like is going to happen to me. After my "life altering" surgery last fall, she tried to wrap my abdomen in an old sweat pant leg to keep me from licking it. This time it was nail clipping. She held me down while Mom clipped the few nails I have left. I was not happy. Aunt Emily scares me. Do you see the picture of my cousin Toby? Does he look happy? Why is he all wet? What was she doing to him!!?? And I heard she sticks a needle in my new cousin Ginger's back everyday and makes her sit there while fluids rush in. What is that about!? Who let this woman have cats??

Three Years

2009-07-07T14:33:00.001-07:00

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!

Shameless Plug

2009-06-21T18:07:00.001-07:00

Listen to Tea & Scrumpets! Download them on iTunes. I've often enjoyed their show while chewing Dad's speaker wires.

THE VET

2009-06-14T11:08:00.000-07:00

I knew it was coming. I saw Auntie Emily come in the house with that carrier and hissed immediately. But then it sat there for a few days. I thought she was just leaving it for storage. Next thing i know, Mom throws my blue mousie in there, I run in and Im trapped behind bars. Damn... I let out one mournful meow and laid down to await the inevitable. The last time I went to that place I came back missing a few important body parts if you know what I mean. It was pretty painless this time, although why that doctor felt the need to swab my ears I'll never know. I made it back with my body intact and bit Mom extra hard for putting me through that.

Balancing Act

2009-06-07T21:47:00.000-07:00

I sauntered downstairs today to find Mom doing her Yoga. I love a little challenge so I decided now was the time to try and be affectionate. I could tell she was trying to ignore me as I rubbed around her ankles. Okay time to kick it up a notch, I threw in a little meow, which I only bring out for certain special occasions. She still wasn't paying any attention to me. Well, I knew I was going to really have to make my presence known. Do you know how hard it is to jump on someone when they are in the Needle Position? Much to Mom's surprise I easily achieved this feat. She finally fell over and started petting me. But I was no longer interested. I had gotten what I wanted so with a flick of my tail in her face I ran back up the stairs and left her to her "cat series 3".

A Rose by any Other Name...

2009-05-30T14:12:00.000-07:00

Mom brought home some roses today and thought she could leave them on the counter. Ha! How long have I been living here? I was all over that in seconds, biting pieces off to my heart's content. So she spots me, and decides to move them onto the shelf over the TV. Again, how long have I been living here? I'm on top of that TV with my front paws on the shelf in no time. Dad just laughs as mom sighs in exasperation. So now they are on the shelf in their bedroom and I haven't figured a way up there yet...YET...

Keep your paws off!

2009-05-25T20:22:00.000-07:00

Got a new toy today! For those of you who don't know, I happen to have a "security mouse". I've had him since mom and dad brought me home. He's blue and I bring him upstairs every night and sleep with him. So today mom and Auntie Emily come home from shopping and I hear a familiar jingle. Do my ears deceive me? It sounds like how Mousie sounded before Dad stepped on him. So I hop up and it's a new toy...baby bear! Auntie Emily threw him and there was no way I was going to give him up. Just check out the video to see what ensued!

Down with the Twitter Cat

2009-05-25T20:20:00.000-07:00

So I hear there is a cat on Twitter that has over 500,00 followers. WTF? My blog is WAY more interesting. Support theauggiechronicles.blogspot.com Tell a friend! Become a follower!

Freedom

2009-05-20T16:50:00.000-07:00

Had a nice weekend all to myself. Got the run of the house, well, except for the doors mom closed. And they were surprised why I wasn't all excited to see them come home. I was living like a king! It's all good. I showed Mom some love on Monday when I sat on her shoulder while she was trying to cook. And she thinks I'm not affectionate enough.

Shady Business

2009-05-13T16:58:00.000-07:00

Mom says I've now ruined three out of the four blinds upstairs. Well, why make something with so many strings on the back and not expect me to chew it? She says they have to use binder clips now to keep them up. They can take my claws, but they'll never have my teeth!

The Real Sticky Icky

2009-05-02T21:37:00.000-07:00

I got my first taste the other night, that's right, some of the catnip. I had heard about it from feline friends, but was always a little nervous to try it myself. Then my cousin Toby was like, "Yo, I got the real fresh stuff, make you feel real good." He's been around the block a few times, so I knew I could trust him. Oh man, candy makes you dandy! I was rolling in it like there was no tomorrow! Check out my vid to see my magical experience.

Moths...

2009-04-22T13:17:00.001-07:00

It's 3:00 am. I lie under the bed, asleep, but ready for action. The sound of softly flapping wings floats up from the downstairs, imperceptible to the humans, but ringing like a siren in my ears. I cock open one eye, not really sure if I heard what I thought I heard. The sound stops as suddenly as it started. I prepare to return to dreaming about the furnace when I hear it again. I have to investigate. I slowly slink down the stairs while Mom is snoring away. I poke my head through the railing and that is when I spot it. A white moth has dared to enter my home and hang around my night light. Oh it's on now. I creep my way past the couch and leap toward him like the sleek puma I am. He takes off toward the window and I give chase up over the couch, onto the console table, crashing into the crap Mom displays. And that's when the jig is up. I hear Mom and Dad sit up in bed and say "What was that!?" Next thing I know, Dad flips on the hall light and starts calling for me. I've lost the moth and now I'm being sent back to bed. Bummer...

Open Windows!

2009-04-19T18:21:00.001-07:00

It's that time of year again! The windows are open and I can sit and watch the world go by, not to mention bat at all the flies. Sweet!

Painting Party

2009-04-18T19:11:00.000-07:00

I got yelled at tonight, more than usual. Mom, Aunt Emily and Babci were painting at the kitchen table. All I wanted to do was hop up and sniff around. They all freaked out and kept shooing me off the table. I got scared and ended up with green paint in my fur. Then Mom yelled at Dad and told him to stop watching TV and keep me entertained and Dad said he had been up since 5:45 and was tired. Then Mom said he got to fish all day while she was home with me and now it was his turn, blah blah blah. Time to go find a bottle cap to bat around...

New Toys!

2009-04-14T14:07:00.000-07:00

Mom and Dad replaced the balls she stepped on so I have jingly toys again! I've been carrying them up and down the stairs all day. I almost cried today when Dad stepped on my mouse. Thankfully, he still jingles, but it doesn't sound the same. Dad felt real bad. I showed off my leaping and biting abilities to Uncle Graham and Tegan last night. That's right, I got mad skills...

Happy Easter!

2009-04-12T09:20:00.001-07:00

Happy Easter everyone!

Friday Night Fights

2009-04-10T22:47:00.000-07:00

Was boxing Uncle Graham tonight. I always win. But he keeps coming back for more. And I chewed his shoelaces. I haven't frayed them yet like I did Dad's, but I'm getting there. It's only a matter of time.

Not Fair!

2009-04-09T20:34:00.000-07:00

So I've been banished from the basement! It was my room. I had all my toys and my tunnel down there. Just because I chewed on the tubing to the furnace and started a flood Dad says I can't go down there anymore. Not fair! I guess I'll go back to chewing his computer speaker wires.

Thanks Mom

2009-04-08T19:23:00.000-07:00

So Mom came home with Dad from Dad's dodgeball game and promptly stepped right on my toy ball and broke the bell inside. This is the second toy she's ruined. It doesn't jingle anymore! Oh well, I'll still chase it. I got her back by waking them up at 2:30 this morning and eating her granola. Hmm, wonder what havoc I can wreak tonight....

Terrific Tuesday

2009-04-07T17:01:00.000-07:00

Yawn...Just woke up from my afternoon nap and am ready to terroize the humans when they get home from work. I've been chewing on the corners of the jewelry box to prepare my teeth to inflict maximum damage when they try to pick me up again. Going to head to the window now to keep an eye out for that black cat that's been roaming. She better not come up to the back door again.